How I Met Your Mother

Ted Mosby Quotes

Ted: You know what Robin? Been thinking about it, guess it's kind of nice you're such a badass.
Robin: It's pretty badass your so nice Ted.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Sometimes in life you have to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Ted: You called her a whore!
Robin: Who wears that much make up?
Ted: Old ladies!
Robin: Who take money for sex, exactly!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: We built Chip City... We built Chip City on all your dough!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Barney: Stop pining over Marshall and Lily! Have some self respect. Now put this fiver in your mouth so that stripper with the lazy eye can vacuum it up with...
Ted: Barney! I'm allowed to miss them alright? They're my two best friends.
Barney: I'm your two best friends!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: It's like when they canceled Party Of Five for the second time. I mean when they canceled, sports.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: You can't fire me I'm union bitch!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Ted: Still? Still with the Lebron jokes?
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Ted: Oh Can-adorable, am I right?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Ted: Sorry dude, we gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.
Barney: It gets pretty tough.
Ted: I know it does buddy.
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

Ted: Kids I cannot stress this enough. Barney and I were going through a tough time.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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