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How-i-met-your-mother

I must have heard your mother's version of Le Vie en Rose a million times over the years. Every night when she'd tuck you in for instance. That performance, that first night I ever heard her sing. That one will always be my favorite.

Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads.

Ted: Uh Barney who's taller, me or you?
Barney: You're taller, I wear lifts in all my shoes.

I love Barney, but I'm not going to jail for him.

Barney: The international dateline, that's right new theory. What's that you ask?
Ted: Nobody did
Barney: I'll now address your query.

It would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.

He's gotten really respectful with his fake listening.

Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!

Ted: Billy Zabka's your new best man?
Barney: He's the best, around. Sorry Ted, maybe next wedding.

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