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How-i-met-your-mother

He's gotten really respectful with his fake listening.

Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!

Ted: Billy Zabka's your new best man?
Barney: He's the best, around. Sorry Ted, maybe next wedding.

When you believe in people, people come through.

I would open a vein in my arm if I could bleed that locket out, just to make her happy.

Indiana Jones wouldn't look at this body. This is a body that would melt a Nazi's face.

Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!

Ted: Oh boy that was a crazy story.
Barney: Oh boy, yeah I remember.
Ted: You weren't there.
Barney: Ted, bubala, if you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe.

Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.

Lily: I am so happy right now.
Marshall: I want to see her throw her life away so badly.
Ted: We're all terrible people. Turn it up.

She's John Cusack, I'm Ione Skye and there is nothing weird about that!

There's a fine line between love and insanity.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 477 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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