Favorite Ted Mosby Quotes
Ted: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.
You know what's weird Stella? Not seeing Star Wars until you're 30.
Marshall: Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed. Repeat after me: I will not have sex with Marshall.
Ted and Lily: I will not have sex with Marshall
I love Barney, but I'm not going to jail for him.
If a cockroach and a mouse can find love in this crazy world, then so can I!
Ted: This slap was supposed to be a joyous gift. We've let it come between us.
Robin: Oh my God, you're right. This once pure fruit has turned into a poison slapple.
Ted [to someone in a big penguin costume]: Excuse me? This is going to sound crazy, but... I met someone on this roof four years ago, and they mixed that cocktail, and they loved penguins... by any chance, was that you? It's you. Everyone thought I was crazy, but...
[Barney removes penguin head]underneath)
Barney: You are such a loser.
Ted: Arrgh!
Barney: Come on, I came back for you, Ted. I penguin-suited up to show you the error of your ways. And to score Hula Girl's number. Check and check.
Barney: Okay, I'm leaving. But just know, this Victoria's Secret party is on a yacht! And what will be sticking to that yacht? The Barnicle!
Ted: Really? That's the nickname now?
The comfort of home is pretty much ruined when someone turns your-old room into what I'm pretty sure is a tantric sex temple. All the bamboo, pot smoke and 60's music, it's like my old G.I. Joes are frozen in some weird Vietnam flashback.
