Favorite Ted Mosby Quotes
It would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
Ted: OK, this is getting weird, the similarities go on and on. She hates phonies. I totally hate phonies too. She's a dermatologist. I have skin.
Barney: You wanna be her boyfriend. She already has a boyfriend. It's uncanny
Ted: This is going to be the home I share with my future wife.
Barney: Is she in the room with us now, Ted?
I'm gonna set up the grill out back, it's gonna be a total sausage fest. Party. Burgers. We'll do burgers.
Ted: The auction was yesterday, my bid was accepted and I signed the papers this morning!
Barney: Was the Blair Witch easy to deal with or did she haggle over closing costs?
Marshall: This is it. Last. Cigarette. Ever!
Ted: What are you doing? You haven't smoked in six months? Is this about the McRib? Seriously, dude. Let it go.
Ted: Yes, on Saturday, after a little wine and a little dancing...
Barney: Alright, they better be making a new gender, because I'm revoking your dude license.
Ted: Yeah, how was that manicure yesterday?
Barney: Invigorating, thanks
Clint: But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don't you? Exiting her womb, receiving her milk. You get me, don't you.
Ted: Please don't.
I didn't know the Jets had new costumes.
Ted: They're dividing our group into smokers and non-smokers. That's not healthy.
Barney: You're right. [pause] Let's go have a smoke!
Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.
Ted: My God, this is incredible. We're like the same person. Sarah O'Brien loves brunch. She wants to have two children. Her guilty pleasure song is "Summer Breeze" by Seals and Croft.
Barney: Wow, Ted, sounds like you're her perfect woman
