You will be shocked kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.

Ted

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Here's the secret kids. None of us can vow to be perfect. In the end all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love's the best thing we do.

Ted: The lamb here is supposed to be great.
Nora: I am a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals is murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are.
Ted: That's 'cause you need protein

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

Barney [playing laser tag, on phone with Ted]: Hey, loser. How's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! [kid fires at Barney as he runs by] Oh, I killed you, Conner! Don't make me get your mom!
Ted: Hey, listen, I need your help on something.
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up!

Gael: Gael.
Ted: I'm sorry, so it's Gayle?
Gael: Gael.
Barney: ...Kyle?
Gael: Gael.
Marshall: ...Girl?
Robin: It's pronounced Guy-el.
Gael: It means joyful. That is why I live my life joyfully, and give to others. Especially those less fortunate than I.
Ted: I'm sorry, so it's Gayle?

Ted: We should buy a bar.
Barney: Of course, we should buy a bar!
Ted: We should totally buy a bar.
Barney: We should totally buy a bar. Our bar would be awesome. And dude, dude, dude, dude... the name of our bar... Puzzles. People will be, like, "Why is it called Puzzles?". That's the puzzle

Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!

When it's just not there, you can't force it.

It's been a major pleasure, Major Pleasure.

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney