Popular Ted Mosby Quotes
Can you get STD's from the ghost of a prostitute?
It would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
Ted: Look, this woman could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing.
Lily: Aw Ted, that is so sweet. So you chickened out like a little bitch?
Ted: Why can't we go to McClaran's?
Barney: McClaran's is boring. Let's go to the strip clubs. We're gonna go out, we're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. phone five!
[Barney does a high five with his cellphone.]
Future Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.
Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't phone five Ted! [while motioning with his hand] McClaran's is this much fun. But what I'm offering is the chance to have THIS much fun!
Ted: [also using his hands] See, you always say that, you always say it's gonna be THIS much fun, but it always ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe.
Barney: This whole hand signal thing doesn't really work over the phone, does it?
Ted: No, it doesn't
Ted's Date: Okay, this is really difficult to say. Back when I lived in LA, I was pretty broke. So, I spent a month making adult films.
Ted: Wow ... uh, how many did you make?
Ted's Date: 175.
Lily: Say what you will about the porn industry, but they're hard workers
Ted: Look, don't you think you're being a little impulsive marrying a guy you just met a few months ago?
Sarah: Don't you think it's a little impulsive for you to proposition an engaged woman you don't even know?
Ted: See, we're both impulsive. We're perfect for each other
Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
First of all, no ninja is getting the jump on me.
Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!
I'm sorry, when I'm excited I abbreviate words I shouldn't.
That guy's a dad!
Ted: Billy Zabka's your new best man?
Barney: He's the best, around. Sorry Ted, maybe next wedding.
