Booth: Fishing is not a sport!
Brennan: What? Monuments to sporting events in ancient Egypt include fishing, as well as swimming and wrestling.
Booth: Come on! No sweat, no sport!

Brennan: You've created a geographic Venn diagram.
Booth: No, no, incorrect. What I've shown is here is they've overlapped in the same area.
Brennan: You need to Google "Venn diagram."

Brennan: I have to remove your clothing now.
Booth: Why?
Brennan: Well, there may be particulates.
Booth: Particulates.
Brennan: Evidence for Hodgins and flesh for Cam.

Hodgins: Where's your chest hair?
Booth: I'm highly evolved!
Brennan: His pubic extension is entirely within normal --
Booth: Okay! Enough!

Booth: You know, when I say heartbreaking you say the heart is a muscle, so it can't break. It can only get crushed.
Brennan: Isn't it heartcrushing?
Booth: You want to go to his funeral?
Brennan: Yes, I would. Then she won't be alone.
Booth: You know what, Bones? Sometimes I think your heart muscle is bigger than people give you credit for.

It's very satisfying to use an insulting colloquialism, even when it isn't accurate.

Brennan: It's not a spaceship.
Booth: Well, if it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck ...
Brennan: But then it would be a duck, not a spaceship, so your point escapes me.
Booth: It's just a metaphor.

Booth: Come on Bones, you don't believe that there are other real life forms out there?
Bones: Well the ... probability is very high, but any alien visiting this planet would have sufficient intelligence not to die in the middle of the desert.

Cam: Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?
Brennan: No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
Cam: Do you want to know why I'm asking?
Brennan: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
Cam: No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.
Brennan: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
Cam: Very true.
Brennan: With Wendell!
Cam: Very, very active!
Brennan: And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
Cam: You are so cheering me up right now.

Brennan: Bone graft. It looks like a repair to a screw hole.
Cam: Huh. I count three metal plates.
Brennan: Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.
Cam: Which could help us positively identify these remains.
Brennan: Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.
Cam: I'm not as good as you are at doing as I'm told.
Brennan: Thank you!

Booth: Hey, guys! Guys, listen, I'm going to need some science gibber-gabber to distract these guys!
Brennan: Oh, do you know who's really good at gibber-gabber?
Booth: Who?
Brennan: Me!
Booth: Perfect! My lucky day.

Wendell Bray: (running up with a bone in his hands) Dead guy's hyoid.
Bones: Guy as in sexually non-specific urban colloquialism or in the reference to the gender normally associated with a penis, Mr. Bray?
Wendell Bray: Um ... penis?

Bones Quotes

You're looking at her fruits?

Booth[to Sweets]

Brennan: What have you done?
Hodgins: Baking soda. It's not just for cooking any more.

Bones Music

  Song Artist
Fearless Cyndi Lauper iTunes
The World Is... Matthew Ryan iTunes
Song Rain Or Shine Matthew Perryman Jones