The Monarch Quotes
Season 4, Episode 9: "The Diving Bell Vs. The Butter-Glider"
Monarch: they're henchmen, you don't explain to to them. They do your bidding. When you say jump, they say, "what shark?"
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 8: "Pinstripes & Poltergeists"
The Monarch: Sweet! So let's go with my plan to cover his compound in sticky hot sugar! Leaving him and his family to be devoured by ants! And those little ones...
Henchman 21: You mean gnats?
The Monarch: No.
Henchman 21: Chiggers?
The Monarch: Chiggers!
Monstroso: No, that plan was stupid. My plan is clean, elegant, classic. We take him down as one would take down a Mafia don. Cigar?
The Monarch: No! So then we're going with my plan to just put him in a bag and beat him with a rake?
Monstroso: No, that was also stupid.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 4: "Return to Malice"
Henchman 21: What's the password?
The Monarch: I forgot. Oh, wait, I remember. I'm the f**king Monarch! Let me in now!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 2: "Handsome Ransom"
Dr. Girlfriend [about Captain Sunshine]: What'd he do to you
The Monarch: The usual he threw me in jail. He literally threw me right into the yard of the state prison and he shouts up to the warden, "looks like this one won't be causing any more trouble." Then he flies off with this gay salute
Dr. Girlfriend: Oh my god
The Monarch: Apparently he's never heard of due process
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
The Monarch: Henchman 21, there's a taxi idling in the driveway awaiting his fair... slay him!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
The Monarch: How long have we been trying to kill this schmuck, ten, twenty years?
Dr. Girlfriend: I dunno, since Marky Mark had a funk bunch?
The Monarch: Do you want to know how to really hurt Venture?
Dr. Girlfriend: Not really, but as a wife I try and be supportive
The Monarch: In the pocketbook!
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
The Monarch: Time to pay the piper, Venture, for admitted to my mega pillar silky issue will destroy the only living proof you've had sex, unless you give me ten million dollars
Dr. Venture: Since when did you start arching for money?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 13: "Return to Spider-Skull Island"
Monarch: You boys don't want to end up in here. This place is full of animals... no, Hank, I don't mean King Gorilla. In a place like this, you'd be eaten alive... no, I'm not talking about Mecha-Mouth
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
The Monarch: You're probably wondering why you're here. You're here because you done f**ked up too many times! You think you're hot s**t in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup. And if you keep up like you've been doing, this is where you're headed
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
The Monarch: What's your name?
Dean: Dean Ven-
The Monarch: Your name is bitch!! And I own you. You're property! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole god drilled in your slender frame...King Gorilla! You got a cigarette? There. I just sold you for a cigarette. And I don't smoke! (double take) Holy s***! You're Dean f***ing Venture! King, I gotta buy my bitch back. H-here's your cigarette.
King Gorilla: F*** you, gimme a dollar
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!
Total Quotes: 39