Tony: Hey. You haven't said a word to me since we left the office.
McGee: I've been trying to figure out what you're up to.
Tony: Me?
McGee: Yeah. You've been acting so, you know, nice. You haven't abused me in days.
Tony: If you would like me to abuse you, I will abuse you.

McGee: You're seeing someone.
Tony: Huh. I wish.
McGee: Oh please, come on. Dog lady was hitting on you like crazy, she's super cute and...
Tony: Twenty-two years old.
McGee: Since when has that ever stopped you?

Zoe: Relax, Spider. They know about us.
Tony: Who knows?
Everyone: We all know.
Gibbs: It's about time. Geeze.
Tony: How did you find out?
McGee: We're trained investigators, my friend.
Zoe: And in honor of us coming out, Tony is going to buy everyone drinks.
Tony: I am?
Zoe: Yeah. You are. C'mon. Get your coat.
Tony: Yeah, boss.

Gibbs: McGee!
McGee: Boss I did not say anything. I don't know how everyone seems to know.
Gibbs: Know what? There is nothing to know. Got that?
McGee: Got it.

Bishop: These murders are all very personal to you. And occurred when someone else personal showed up.
Tony: Your ex-wife.
Gibbs: Rebecca?
Tony: Yeah
Gibbs: Rebecca isn't involved.
McGee: Boss you gotta admit, the timing's kind of interesting.
Gibbs: Look look look: she is totally unstable. Completely disrespectful. Untrustworthy. She's a liar....but she's no killer.

Suffering the consequences of the rules is like being sent to your room without dinner. You know dad when you did that, mom always brought me a grilled ham and cheese twenty minutes later.

Heidi: Those are sorry excuses for personal computers. Nice monitors.
McGee: They're government issued.
Heidi: By the First Continental Congress?

It just occurred to me that rules number 3, 8, 36 and 40 are the same thing. With two rule number 1s and two number 3s I'm starting to question that these are honest mistakes. Is Gibbs making up these rules as he goes? Do all parents?

McGee: Boss can you give that to someone else? I can't take it anymore. I said from the beginning that this wasn't going to work. It's a waste of time. These guys are criminals, they're not worth it.
Gibbs: McGee. Rule 51
McGee: 51? What...?
Gibbs: I wrote it down once.

Tony: Notice anything different McGee? We installed the new computer monitors.
McGee: You touched my desk?
Tony: It was their idea.
Kevin: We wanted to thank you.
Khan: No we--don't say that out loud.
McGee: No no no, this monitor should be more to the left.
Tony: Okay let's go to the van. Nobody needs to see this part of Tim McGee. C'mon IT Kevin.
McGee: Come on. Didn't even bundle all the cables.

Every moment with you from growing up to these last few days. It meant something to me. It takes a man to make a man. You've helped make me one. Before I say goodbye dad, I just want to say thank you for everything. Merry Christmas dad. I love you.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee