Abby: McGee, I want to celebrate that you can light up a room as fast as you can ping a phone.
McGee: Well thanks!
Abby: Hashtag: living rocks.
Gibbs: Hashtag get to the point.
Abby: Oh my God, Gibbs. You just used the word hashtag in a sentence

McGee: I figured it out.
Tony: Where the bad guys are hiding?
McGee: No, your apartment. The giveaway was the fact that Gibbs, Fornell and Abby knew about it. So I figured it was case related.
Tony: Good guess, Inspector Clouseau.
McGee: Not a guess. Your apartment was the scene of a triple homicide.
Tony: Amazing what a good paint job will do. Previous owners hacked up the body with an electric carving knife.

McGee: You know, the fact that so much time has passed now, you don't even have to disclose those deaths when you sell.
Tony: Wait, is that true?

McGee: Good morning, Ellie.
Bishop: Good morning, Tim.

Bishop: Here we go. A homeless guy. Doesn't really look like Tony.
McGee: Give him a few years.

Tony: What's the matter?
McGee: I'm getting a call from myself.
Bishop: Answer it. See what you want.

I'm expecting a call from a jeweler. I've been looking at diamond rings.

Bishop: I was thinking. Anyone who would make you a seven-layer burrito on a weekday before work....that is love.
McGee: I was thinking the same thing.

McGee: She's pretty. Who is she?
Tony: Her name's Leah. Met her last week. She's the first triple-T I've met in the last three years.
Bishop: Triple-T. Do I even want to know?
Tony: Tall. Tasty. Trust-funded.

Tony: See, this is why we shouldn't go home at night. There's no point.
McGee: Where's your date?
Tony: Probably the same place your download dinner went, Mcbite me.
Delilah: No comment.

Dare you to pick that up, Missy.

Valeri: Timothy Farragut McGee. You are a sight for sore eyes.
McGee: Val?
Tony: Farragut? I knew he had a middle name.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Abby: McGee, I want to celebrate that you can light up a room as fast as you can ping a phone.
McGee: Well thanks!
Abby: Hashtag: living rocks.
Gibbs: Hashtag get to the point.
Abby: Oh my God, Gibbs. You just used the word hashtag in a sentence