Favorite Toby Flenderson Quotes
Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it's not great, but it's something to watch. And when it's over you're like... how much time is left on this flight? Now what?
Toby: Hey Jim!
Jim: Not now Toby! My God!
Michael: Get the hell out of here, idiot.
Toby: [walking away] What did I do?
I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.
Why you always gotta be so mean to me?
Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Meredith: About what?
Toby: Your outfit.
Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Toby: You ... might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ... it's riding up a little high.
Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes?
Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out.
Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again]
Angela: Meredith, too far!
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual day. Happy?
Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
Every Halloween I tell him the same thing; you can't bring weapons into the office, and every year he says the same thing; as soon as I get my weapons back I'm gonna kill you.
You know what would be the hottest thing ever? A pregnant Helen Mirren.
You never stop surprising me.
Toby: Can I talk to you a second?
Michael: Ugh, what?
Toby: Uh, I really think that you need to address what happened with Stanley this morning...
Michael: What are you blabbering about? Nothing happened.
Toby: Well, you know, Stanley was openly insubordinate.
Michael: That? In the conference room?
Toby: Yeah.
Michael: We were joshin around, the two of us, and he said "did I stutter," and I said "wha-wha-wha-wha-what, dawg?" It was joking, Toby, alright?
Toby: He didn't seem like he was joking.
Michael: Well you don't get it, because Stanley is a beautiful, sassy, powerful black man, and you're... you. If you had any friends, you would understand.
[in a hospital bed] Oh, I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. I guess the harness wasn't strapped in exactly right. I broke my neck. And, I've been in the hospital five weeks now. I still haven't seen the beach. It's nice to have visitors.
Michael: So Costa Rica that was - did you have fun? That must have been fun.
Toby: Well, um, it was amazing. It really was, thanks for asking. Um the beaches were pristine...
Michael: Nice beaches, pristine beaches?
Toby: ... and, yeah, the whole thing was incredibly cathartic.
Michael: Why'd you come back? Why didn't you stay?
Toby: It was actually kind of hard to meet people I found.
Michael: I bet, for you.
Toby: And uh, yeah, plus it was hot.
Michael: Hot ... why didn't you get an air-condition- should have gotten an air-conditioner for yourself.
Toby: Are you all right, Michael?
Michael: Yeah, I am. I am.
