The Office

Toby Flenderson Quotes (Page 6)

Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, Hooters is catering, and is that - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: In addition to Toby's urine being tested, I would like to test his blood and his hair.
Toby: You can't do that.
Michael: I can test anyone randomly. And I have chosen you, randomly.
Toby: That's not random.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Take a gander. How many of these are you familiar with?
Toby: Hookah is not an illegal drug, Michael.
Michael: Yes, it is.
Toby: No, it's not. It's a type of pipe. You can fill it with tobacco, often mixed with fruit, or flavored...
Michael: Okay, you know what, Toby? Pam, could you take this down?
 • Rating: Unrated

Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from that e-mail?
Michael: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
 • Rating: Unrated

Toby: [watches Ryan bite his string cheese] Wow, you just dive right in.
Ryan: You know, around age 12, I just started going for it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: You said we could come to you if we had any questions. (Pause) Where is the clitoris? On a website it says "At the crest of the labia." What does that mean? (Pause) What does the female vagina look like?
Toby: Technically, I am in Human Resources, and Dwight was asking me about human anatomy. Um... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: What if Pam was a lesbian?! What if she brought her partner into work, would that be crossing the line?
Toby: No!
Michael: What if they made out, in front of everybody...
Toby: Well, that would be...
Michael: ...at home? And I told everybody everything about it?
Toby: OK, I'm lost.
 • Rating: Unrated

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