Turk Quotes
Turk: Dude, you all right? You were gone for a really long time.
J.D.: You're gonna be an awful father!
J.D.: What guy drunkenly kissed you when you were sleeping?
J.D.'s narration: And it was at that moment that Turk and I remembered the incident we managed to block out for twelve years!
Turk: Uh, you're okay with us not hanging around for a couple of weeks?
J.D.: Totally!
Todd: You know where there's all kinds of equipment for women? (Points to himself) Todd-land.
Turk: Damn it, Todd. What did I tell you about talking like that around my wife?
Todd: Wait until she leaves and then say it?
Turk: Exactly.
Turk: Dr. Kelso, I'll go to that conference.
Dr. Kelso: Turkelton, I have many more pressing issues, starting with a gigantic paralyzed wife and ending with a gay son who has just written a scathing musical about me called Dr. Dad, which despite mixed reviews, has just been held over in Buffalo. So why don't you just do whatever...
Elliot: You know, I actually like Julie. So, don't do that thing you always do.
J.D.: If you're referring to the game "Find the Saltine", relax. I don't even play that with Turk anymore.
(Later)
Turk: Behind your ear.
J.D.: (Withdrawing Saltine from behind his ear) My friend, you have found the Saltine. Uh, but, don't tell Elliot we're still playing.
Janitor:We don't just rock together, we roll together.
Janitor, Lloyd, Ted, Turk: ::pounding chests:: Cool cats.
J.D.: How did you know I'd move too fast with Julie?
Elliot: Because I know you!
Dr. Cox: How do you know that I can be that kind of dad?
Carla: Because I know you!
Turk: How did you that Kelso just wanted respect?
Janitor: Because I know him!
Todd: (Watching in the security cameras) Wow! This is so cool!
Turk: Can I admit something to you? I kinda missed not getting my hug today.
J.D.: Here comes your vanilla bear!
J.D. leans over to hug him
Turk: J.D., J.D, oh J.D.
J.D. falls out of the tree
J.D.: Don't be such a baby! It's a magnetic image. I apologize Mr. Foster. I'm a little upset. My scooter, Sasha, was assassinated this morning.
Turk: Yeah, he was so attached to that thing. He used to wear a bracelet that said "Sasha forever".
J.D.: Come on, Turk. It was just a joke. And I only wore it for one week.
J.D.'s wrist hits the machine
J.D.: Ok so I still wear the bracelet.
J.D.'s narration: So a patient was a dead and one of us was going to be blamed.
Turk's cell phone of dramatic music plays
J.D.: Dude, you've got to change that ring.
Turk: You think so, huh? (Into phone) Mom, not now.
J.D.: Elliot, would you do me a favor and cover Mr. Foster for me? I have to go Mr. Sutton's house and get the thank you I deserve.
Carla: You are so obsessing about this.
Turk: It's like the time you you were convinced the cafeteria workers were giving you small waffles. How'd that work out for you?
J.D.: They waffle-ironed my foot. But, this different, buddy. Look, I need a ride.
Turk: Pass.
J.D.: Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
(J.D. presents his waffle-ironed foot)
Turk: Okay. Put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends!
J.D.: Okay, Turk.. looks like someone's getting crossed off their 2 o' clock spot and getting penciled in for never! How does that feel? Does it sting?
J.D.'s Narration: He's hurting! Hug him.. hug him now!
