Tyrion: So, should I turn around and close my eyes?
Jaime: Depends, did you do it?
Tyrion: The King Slayer Brothers, you like it? I like it. You really asking if I killed your son?
Jaime: You really asking if I'd kill my brother?

Sansa: We have a new queen.
Tyrion: Better her than you.

Tyrion: Forgive me if I don't weep for you.
Varys: No one weeps for spiders or whores.

It's only wine.

You lost a hand, not a stomach.

I didn't know your brother. He seemed like a good man, but I didn't know him. Your mother on the other hand, I admired her. She wanted to have me executed, but I admired her.

It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it, if it were easy.

Drinking and lust , no man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine.

You won't be a prisoner after today, you'll be my wife.

I'm a monster, as well as a dwarf. You should charge me double.

Would it be excessive of me to ask you to save my life twice in a week?

Varys: I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.
Tyrion: I'm entirely sure, you're entirely sure, what I'm suggesting.

Game of Thrones Quotes

Tyrion: Let me give you some advice bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.
Jon: What the hell do you know about being a bastard?
Tyrion: All dwarfs are bastards in their father's eyes.

Nothing isn't better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.

Arya