Winston: So that means you're gonna do whatever I say?
Schmidt: I mean as long as it's gangsta...or not. It doesn't have to be.

Winston: I wanted to talk to you about the regrettable contact between Cece's...her down there and
Schmidt: You practically shish-kebabed her.

Nick, we will talk about this in the morning. But, first, I'm gonna go do stuff with a girl

I needed your sew into my underwear.

Winston: An eye for an eye, Nick; a cat for a cat.
Nick: But what's the other cat?

Hello, Pica? I need a table for five. This is author Toni Morrison.

He's gonna have to rhymes with "flute-ered."

Winston: Schmidt, you can't move out! Who's gonna do my fades?!
Jess: Yeah, who's gonna do his fades?!

Coach: Remember when you sat out of the game because you were sad?
Winston: I was also cold.

The internet said I had to stay off my feet. But then I found this wheelchair in a ditch, so...I'm ready to work out!

Schmidt: Camping?
Winston: Like we're animals?!

Have I ever made any decisions in my whole life? Are we just living in the mind of a giant?

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.


Get rid of it, Jess. Pine has no place in this loft. It's the wood of poor people and outhouses.