New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl
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Winston: So nice to meet you, Mr. Kareem Abdul Jabbar. Can I sit on your shoulders?
Kareem: Sure!
Winston: Really?
Kareem: No!

Nick: Schmidt...I need you to teach me to be a douchebag
Schmidt: Let's get started.
Winston: What is happening in the world?

Winston: Hey Schmidt, do you mind if I use the uh...manbulance?
Schmidt: The manbulance is resting. It's getting ready for the corporate retreat.
Winston: That's cool. I'm sure the mambulance couldn't handle all of Shelby's luggage anyway.
Schmidt: What the hell is wrong with you, Winston? It could fit the luggage of 9 Shelbys. It has the towing capacity of 1,000 Shelbys.

You were denied a cell phone because you have the credit score of a homeless ghost!

Displaying quotes 49 - 52 of 52 in total

New Girl Quotes

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick

I'm gonna bake a cake so moist, girls are gonna be like, 'Ewww, why did you say moist? I hate that word?' and I'm gonna be like, 'Taste the cake!' And they're gonna be like, 'Damn, it's moist!'"

Coach