Favorite Zack Quotes
Zack: Best friends are like Supreme Court appointments. You can't lose that job until you retire or die.
Davis: Sweet, man. A job you can't get fired from. That is tailor-made for moi
Zack: Uh, Sasha, look, how do I put this? Some foods just don't go together: pickles and melon, whip cream and eggplant or...
Sasha: Radishes and yogurt. Oh God! I've heard this exact speech so many times. You're breaking up with me
I thought you were asleep in your bed. The pillows were arranged in a very Billie-like way, and I thought they were breathing. I swear the pillows were breathing!
Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!
I'm running out of charming. I think I have some more back in my apartment.
Ryan: You're gonna close your eyes. We're gonna spin you around. Now, whoever you take a picture of, you gotta try and nail.
Zack: Wait, wait, wha-- what if it's a dude?
Davis: Just look interested in what he's saying. Guys looove that
Zack: [Billie's] douche ex-boyfriend got me thinking that I am way over my head.
Dr. Roland: Well, douche ex-boyfriends are known for their wisdom
Zack: The reason I didn't sleep with you... is because I had an orange penis.
Billie: Wow, I was imagining how you were going to finish what you're saying, but 'orange penis' is not where I was going
Billie: What are you doing?
Zack: I'm having a date.
Billie: Dates happen outside the home.
Zack: When you have money
Billie, don't worry about it. You are beautiful, and you're funny. And you've got a cool job. Awesome TV. Insurance. Any guy would be lucky to have you
Davis [about Billie]: I thought the two of you were cool with dating other people?
Zack: Yeah, but who's going to date her? She's got stuff popping out all over the place. You know, and I want to be a good guy about this, so I'm just going to do it behind her back.
Davis: You're a class act, Zack
Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!
