NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite Ziva David Quotes
Ziva: I'm sorry if I hurt you in all of this. It was never intended. Tony, I care too much about our...friendship. I do not want it to be awkward between us.
Tony: Hey. [Kisses her forehead.] Nothing's awkward between friends.
Tony: Maybe instead of having a midlife crisis, I'm having a midlife crazy.
Ziva: Look, you are not crazy. You are just... growing up. And some lessons are more painful as we grow older, because the stakes are higher. You need to find balance! Yes, yes, yes, you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters... of the heart. But you need to be who you are.
Tony: And who am I?
Ziva: You are Tony DiNozzo. The class clown. And that is why we love you.
Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".
Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.
Ziva: Are you jealous?
Tony: (he pauses) No. I'm worried. Because you don't seem to understand that your secret friend is interfering with this agency's ability to shut down a terrorist cell!
Ziva: Interfering? How is he interfering?
Tony: He's already killed two suspects.
Ziva: Well, in my country that would be cause for celebration.
Tony: You're not in your country and neither is he!
Eli: Alright let's go.
Ziva: That is all you are going to say to me?
Eli: What is the point? I know this face. You made the same one when I told my brother he could not buy you a pony.
Ziva: Oh...
Eli: Ziva if you want to talk we will talk. I am not going to beg.
Ziva: Why not? You know, confronted with the prospect of your own death, another man.
Eli: A lesser man.
(Ziva slams her fist in anger)
Ziva: A human man would want to!
Eli David: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.
Ziva David: Rodeo.
McGee: Face it, you think you're too good looking to be the sidekick.
Tony: According to women, I'm too good looking.
Ziva: Actually I find McGee the more handsome.
I appreciate that, Tony, but don't try to compete with my Schmeil.
Tony: In fact, I was champion of my Baltimore precinct in the late '90s.
Ziva: (laughing) 'Late '90s?' That makes you sound...
Tony: What, old?! Don't say old!
Ziva: I didn't say it, you did.
Ziva: Gibbs you cannot do this alone. You have to let us help.
Gibbs: Hey - it is not your job!
Ziva: It is not about my job. This is about my family!
(Tony introduces Nick Miller, the boy whole charged McGee's credit card illegally)
Tony: Tim McGee, meet Tim McGee.
Nick: 'Sup dude.
McGee: Hello. (Looks at Tony) I don't get it.
Tony: Well, Tim, there are two kinds of identity thieves. There's the kind you never know and there's the kind that knows you so well that they're aware you're not home from 7am to 10pm.
McGee (To Nick) You're Mrs Miller's kid right? Nick?
Ziva: Who is Mrs Miller?
Tony: It's McGee's landlady, holder of the keys. She also has a bad back.
Ziva: Oh.
McGee: It was you! You stole my identity, you sent me an inflatable girlfriend! You know I'm down almost ten grand!
Nick: Dude, it's fraud and you're only liable for like... fifty bucks.
Tony: Yeah dude.
McGee: (To Nick) Why? Why are you doing this to me?
Nick: You're always doing the same thing. Go to work, come home, go to work again. You even order the same take-out food every single night.
McGee: Not every night.
Nick: Dude, yes! You gotta start living. You're too young to act so old.
(McGee looks at Tony who starts laughing)
Tony: You're welcome.
