NCIS

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Ncis
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Ziva: You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.
Tony: You're never making me breakfast!
Ziva: That is the truth!
Tony: It's supposed to be "eggs".
Ziva: Cook them yourself!

McGee: Who'd wanna impersonate Tony?
Ziva: Perhaps Jack Nicholson. You know, impersonation revenge?
McGee: Or it's a frame-up.
Ziva: Jeanne Benoit?
McGee: Overseas. Maybe it was Trent Kort.
Ziva: Are you detecting a trend here?
McGee: Tony does have a way with people.

Gibbs (looking at photo): Gang tattoo.
Ziva: Or pecados capitales.
Tony: Capital fish.
Ziva: Deadly sins, you idiot, pecado is fish.
Tony: Don't scoff at me, lots of gangs are named after fish. There's the sharks... there's barracudas... Rumblefish.

Ziva: He really likes her, Tony. You have to tell him.
Tony (laughs): I know. But it's actually kind of flattering... in a creepy way.
Ziva (angry): What did you think would happen?
Tony: I don't know... the flaw in the plan was the plan but I got another plan to end it.
Ziva: Which is?
Tony: You ever see "Fatal Attraction"?

Ziva: You have to tell him [McGee] the truth.
Tony: Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.

Tony: (photographing a wrecked car) Huh, someone didn't know how to parallel park!
Ziva: I have always found it hard to park when someone is shooting with you.

Ziva: I remember my first fight. I was eight. Shmuel Rubinstein.
Tony: Sounds like a real stud.
Ziva: One punch and it was over.
Tony: What did poor Shmuel do to deserve the wrath of Ziva?
Ziva: He said he liked me.

Tony: Don't worry McScout; We got our Mossad hunting dog. Bark once for yes.
Ziva: Grrrr!

Tony: (on the phone) Hey Probie, what I am looking at?
Vance: A career in the fast food industry.
Tony: Director Vance. How are you, sir?

Displaying quotes 121 - 129 of 129 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.