Hey, it's me again. Look, who are we kidding? You and I are both attracted to each other. We're young, we're drunk, half of us anyway. And we only get one life, so why don't you come over to my apartment and we'll think of something stupid to do together?

Ted [on the phone]

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How I Met Your Mother Season 1 Episode 10 Quotes

Barney, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. He's yours, his name is Windjammer

Ted

[on his theory, Carl, the bar tender is a vampire]
Marshall: OK, think about this, is there even a single item on the menu that has garlic in it?
Lily: Garlic fries.
Marshall: OK, well, I'll get back to you