Brittany: I can't.
Sam: Is it my lips?
Brittany: No. Your lips are so soft and horizontal. I just like you too much to put you in danger.
Sam: Santana broke up with you.
Brittany: No, it's not just Santana. It's like, all the lesbians of the nation, and I don't know how they found out about Santana and I dating, but once they did, they started sending me, like, tweets and Facebook messages on Lord Tubbington's wall. I think it means a lot to them to see two super hot, popular girls in love, and I worry if they find out about you and I dating that they'll turn on you and get really violent and hurt your beautiful face and mouth.