I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted. I'm sorry, only part of me meant that... he'd probably end up a hero there anyway.

Dwight
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The Office Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I've heard "women and children first." But we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.

Michael

Dwight: Fire! This is not a drill!
Phyllis: You say that every week.
Dwight: Do you want to die?
Oscar: Relax.

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