2 Broke Girls

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
2 broke girls
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You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.

Max

You're not my type anyway! You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night, and you're not an alcoholic. So, clearly, you don't know how to seize an opportunity.

Max

When you fake smile, everybody else fake smiles back.

Han

Oleg: Sofi has new man in her life. I'm so mad I can't see straight.
Max: I'm looking right at him and I don't see straight either.

Detective: He lived alone, been dead two weeks
Max: Cats eat his face?
Caroline: Max! Can you not be so dark?
Max: Kittens eat his face?

Sofi: Oh Earl, you make me smile. I wish we had black people in Poland when I was growing up.
Earl: Too bad, we would have really enjoyed segregation and Hitler.

Max: So what, is she still your girlfriend?
Johnny: Max it's complicated.
Max: What are we on Facebook?

Max: Oh my God, you have a shoe rotisserie!
Caroline: I designed it. I call it my Ferris Heels.
Max: I'd judge you if that wasn't exactly what I'd call it if I had one.

You can't give hipsters a microphone, that's like throwing gasoline on a pretentious fire!

Max

Caroline: You need to react when people cry
Max: I did! I rolled my eyes!

Caroline: It's strictly business.
Max: Alright, but it's costing us 200 dollars, might as well get something out of it. Maybe let him browse your Yahoo.

Han: Tomorrow is Caroline's birthday.
Max: Why don't I know that about her? She tells me everything. I know so much about her cycle I feel pressure to impregnate her.
Oleg: I can do that for you.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 245 in total

2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.

Max

Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.

Max