2 Broke Girls Season 1 Episode 9: "And The Really Petty Cash" Quotes
Max: I kissed Johnny
Caroline: What?! When?
Max: He came by the apartment right after you left.
Caroline: I was only gone twenty minutes. What did you do, shine a bat symbol on your vagina?
Caroline: I also learned she's a dancer, her lip gloss is from Kiehl's, and she's school chums with Adele.
Max: Not THE Adele! Damn, could she be any cooler? I want her to be my girlfriend. I wouldn't break up with her for me.
You're not my type anyway! You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night, and you're not an alcoholic. So, clearly, you don't know how to seize an opportunity.Max
Hey! You don't need to go all Hallmark Presents Johnny Soft Eyes on me.Max
Caroline: Are you sure you're ok?
Max: Are you about to come over here and soft touch me?
Caroline: I want to so bad!
Max: Leave! Go to the coffee shop and soft touch the barista.
Giving in to feelings is for rich people! Regular people just have to get up, get drunk, and go fulfill their babysitting duties.Max
Max: Nice job, the font's pretty.
Caroline: You just gave me a compliment? I knew it, you're depressed!
When I had millions of dollars, I had no idea why guys were coming to see me. Do they want me, do they want my money? But you have nothing!Caroline
Max: So what, is she still your girlfriend?
Johnny: Max it's complicated.
Max: What are we on Facebook?
When you fake smile, everybody else fake smiles back.Han