Did you know that every year more people die from disease and accidents combined than from just trampoline accidents?


We just need to have our next great roles line up, like how after E.R. Clooney had Dumb, Gay Batman.


Liz: You two are doing press all day.
Tracy: I'm glad the band U2 is doing press all day. Jenna quick, run before Liz Lemon realizes what I did.

Women who try to do things sure get killed a lot.


Jack: Through back channels...
Liz: Like BET?
Jack: BACK channels.

How big is an eight year old's head? I'm thinking like a bowling ball.


Liz: Beverly.
Bev: It's just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me.

Liz: Also, you're kind of a slut.
Jack: I did sleep with Jenna a lot during season three.

The only way you're like Socrates is that you have the body hair of a Greek man.

Jack (to Liz)

Where are my manners? This is Florida, let me boil up a pot of hot Gatorade.


I once played a lawyer in a movie, so I know all about winning your son's love back thanks to a magic camera.


She's lying like a rug. Rug is an offensive term for Persians that I made up.


30 Rock Quotes

We'll trick those race car-loving wide loads into loving your, watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!


I wanna roll my eyes right now, but the doctor said if I keep doing it my ocular muscles might spasm and eject my eyeballs.