That's 50 hours of comedy, over 300 sketches, one unsolved crew death, and an Emmy ... Magazine cover story.


[to Liz] Top front? Good lord, Lemon, that's your worst quadrant.


It's not enough that you killed the bird I've had for almost 60 years, but the fact that you didn't trust me is unforgivable!


[to Liz] He alleges you tried to barter sex in exchange for professional consideration. In the HR world we refer to that as being a filthy prostitute.

HR Guy

Fine - 30 minutes, I'll make some sounds and you can say one weird thing to me.


We go upstairs, 20 minutes, open mouth, I will work your ears.


It's a massacre! I can't go back to teaching high school math. Those girls pretend they're not women, but they are.


I'm Lizzing!


[to Liz] You were trying to be an actress then. Despite your neck.


Jack: Go to Disneyland? Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands.
Liz: That's awesome.

[his list of things to do before turning 50] Go to Disneyland, ride in an airplane, kiss Peggy Fleming, live in a house with stairs, beat up a Russian, hit mom with a car.


[to Dennis] Good luck with your fake addiction and your inconveniently located vending machines.


30 Rock Season 3 Quotes

If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.


Liz: I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider it erotica.
Jack: That man can wear a sweater.