Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Archer Quotes
Slater: Everyone else, these are your dossiers. Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Cheryl: Tunt Manor! That's my house!
Slater: I know! (mimicking Cheryl's high voice) And because you know the property, you'll be posing as the listing agent.
Cheryl: Ahhhh! (squealing and clapping)
Mallory: Shut up!
Cheryl: Burn!
Lana: First of all, your plan was too complicated!
Slater: Maybe for you people.
Archer: It had everything except a sign for free birdseed.
Lana: And just so we're clear, he's the Prince of Duhan, an allied country.
Slater: Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to "Because I said so."
Why are your plans always so complicated? You're like Wyle E Coyote with access to predator drones.
Lana
Queen: Foolish woman! Where is the bathroom!?
Cheryl: Where isn't the bathroom? Am I right?
Pam: Pardon, but I'm supposed to-- (Queen slaps Pam)
Queen: Woman! I will kill you where you stand!
Cheryl: Which by law, I would be required to tell you if there was a murder in the house (pause) Ohhh, but if you're the murderer....That's what I love about this job. You learn something new every day.
Cyril crying about the thought of Lana and Archer back together
Pam: And that's why I don't sleep with co-workers. [Pause] That, and nobody let's me.
Dr. Creiger: I've had good results with ether.
Pam: But wait, why are you telling me about your plan not to make Lana jealous.
Archer: Because I- oh my god, Pam, I think you might be my best friend
Pam: You're my best friend! (hugs him)
Archer: But what about Cheryl?
Pam: You're my second best friend!
Just the Tip!
Malory: So you do want the assignment?
Archer: What? Yeah I want it.
Malory: You really, really, really want it?
Archer: Yes I want it.
Malory: Well too bad, becuase guess what?
(Lana is standing in the doorway with her briefcase.)
Lana: (mocking) Ha-HA!
Archer: (outraged) What! Why does she get the mission!?
Malory: Because I said so, either way we have a plan to catch.
(Getting up to leave with Lana.)
Archer: WE!? Why are you going?
Malory: I'm...umm...uhhhh...(thinking of excuse) going to a conference?
Archer: (annoyed) Oh well isn't that convenient!?
Lana: If you think that's convenient, wait till you see my new kitchen.
Malory: HA! Seriously thou, you should look thru some of her design catalogue's.
Pam: Cyril, you can lie to yourself...
Ray: Obviously, look at your sweater.
The child is sent to Bhutan, where for the next 20 years she's raised and trained as an assassin with Ra's al Ghul before returning to destroy those who once betrayed her.
Carol
