Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXArcher Season 2 Quotes
Cyril: Kriegers father's was a Nazi scientist.
Malory: And JFK's father was a bootlegger.
Cyril: What!? That's like comparing apples to Nazi oranges.
Archer: What have I been doing?
Lana: Chain smoking joints the size of tampons.
Archer: Eww.
Lana: Just a figure of speech.
Archer: Still, eww.
She's not gay, she just has big hands.
Well, first of all, you don't have to yell. I don't have ear cancer.
Now shut up and kick in the door for me. And do it bad ass like I would. If I still had toe nails.
Archer: Lana, did you see my scarf?
Lana: Yes, Archer. I saw your scarf.
Archer: All my hair fell out.
Lana: I'm sorry.
Archer: Me too. It was my fifth best feature.
Gillette: My mother told me she loved me all the time.
Malory: Exactly, look how you turned out.
Gillette: Uh, with high self esteem?
I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss the Zima.
As you can see I have wine coolers on my feet because my toe nails are popping off like pogs.
Do I look like I need bald guy cream?. Mikey, I can barely get a comb through this. It's so thick my barber charges me double.
Hmm. Cock flavored spit? Well you never know what's gonna be on the board! Let me see cock-flavored spit!
Save it for the fast money round, Paddy.
