Carl: Now, wait a minute. This is just purely a social call. You know, just two adults getting a stew on, man.
Buster: I don't know what that means, but it sounds disgusting.

(to George Michael) We're all just going to have a more normal arrangement. I'm going to sleep with my daughter, and you're going to sleep with my husband.

Lindsay

George Sr.: Hey, Bruno, any chance that the hole is available between 4:00 and 6:00?
Lucille: I don't even want to know what that means.

Lucille 2: Buster, this is exactly why our relationship does not work.
Buster: Our relationship doesn't work?
Lucille 2: No, not as long as you keep getting me all mixed up with your mother.
Buster: It is exactly the opposite. I'm leaving my mother for you. You're replacing my mother.

There was somebody for a little while, but it was too much of a brother -- bother.

Michael

Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I deceived you, Mom. Trick makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

Gob: You've only had sex four times!
Michael: Not four times, four women!

Lucille: Blow.
(Holds out tissue)
Buster: No, Mother! I can blow myself.

Maeby: That's it! Tell me what's up with you and Dad.
Lindsay: Nothing. Nothing's wrong with your father and me. We have a-a wonderful, close relationship. Can I let you in on a little secret? Hmm? Having him in the next room makes me miss him all the more.
Maeby: Mom, please. He's got a big boy crush on Action Jackson.

Maeby: So, do you want to go to the movies? (George Michael pricks off a small piece of Maeby's hair with a tweezer and walks past her) Ow!
George Michael: I'll let you know when I get back from the lab.

Narrator: The family continued to chant "speech, speech, speech" for no one in particular.
(clapping ceases)
Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech.
Buster: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Michael: I'll say something.
Gob: Typical.

I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.

George Sr.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Michael: (to George Michael) I'm gonna give you a promotion. Welcome aboard, Mr. Manager.
George Michael: Wow! I'm Mr. Manager!
Michael: Well, manager. We just say manager. And you can hire an employee if you need one.
George Michael: Do you think I need one?
Michael: Don't look at me, Mr. Manager.
George Michael: Right. It's up to me now. I'm Mr. Manager.
Michael: Manager. We just say, uh --
George Michael: I know, but you just said --
Michael: Doesn't matter who.

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.