Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I deceived you, Mom. Trick makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.

To love and happiness. I love you all Marta.


Narrator: The family continued to chant "speech, speech, speech" for no one in particular.
(clapping ceases)
Michael: Gee, after all that, I was kinda hoping somebody would make a speech.
Buster: Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
Michael: I'll say something.
Gob: Typical.

I cheated and I lied. And I whored around.

George Sr.

Did you know that "fratello" means "brother" in Italian? Strange I know that. I took four years of Spanish.


Lindsay: Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy and Daddy aren't going anywhere.
Maeby: Ok. I'll go unpack my suitcase.
Lindsay: No! We may have to bolt!

This isn't about my mother! Besides, it's the only way I'm ever gonna get her to respect me!


Marta: Michael, all alone on Valentine's Day? How's that possible? You seem like such a romantic to me. I can just see you showing up on some lucky girl's porch in a tuxedo with a bottle of champagne.
Michael: Yeah. But if I show up with all that stuff, I could probably just get away with shorts and a T-shirt, right? Which is good because I don't even have a tuxedo.
Marta: So, you're saying there's no one that you're even interested in?

Michael: Where's Tobias?
Lindsay: He's on the balcony having margaritas with Carl Weathers.

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