George, Sr.: Why?! If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?!
J. Walter Weatherman: And that's why you always leave a note.

Lindsay: Well, I think stress is what leads to trouble. You know the kind you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A?
Michael: Minus. And an A gets him ice cream. He knows that.

Michael: All I'm saying, Lindsay, is that, you know, you might want to push her a little bit because a kid without discipline can get into some pretty tough stuff.
Lindsay: So, you think she's going to suddenly turn to drugs because she got a C plus?
Michael: Minus. And yes, I think that without boundaries, a kid can get into trouble, and yeah, sometimes that can mean drugs.

Michael: A minus, huh?
George Michael: Proud of me?
Michael: Very proud. Minus. Better go hit the books. Get up there.

Michael: You knew the whole time, didn't you?
George Michael: Well, sort of. One of the Hot Cops is my choir teacher.

Maeby: "C minus." C m-i-n-e-s.
Lindsay: Did you even study?
Maeby: No, I didn't.
Lindsay: Wow. How impressive is that?

Michael: Your uncle Gob seems to think that he saw you down at the docks today. Was that you?
George Michael: No. Maybe it was the other George Michael. You know, the singer-songwriter.

I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense.


Maeby: (working with Lucille) This is so much fun. I can't believe my mom thought being here would be a punishment.
Lucille: Oh, she thinks I'm too critical. That's another fault of hers.

Michael: You mean you taught me a lesson not to teach lessons?
George Sr.: It was my last lesson.

What? Oh, no! It's the cops! Oh! And a ... Construction worker.


Gob: (about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip.
Michael: They're not going to strip, are they?
Gob: I told them not to, but I can't promise that their instincts won't kick in.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Lindsay: No, Michael, I don't just sleep all day.
Narrator: Actually, Lindsay was so upset at Michael that she tried meditating to calm herself but ended up taking a two-hour angry nap.

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.