Lindsay: (about the broach) You know I wanted that.
Lucille: I know. But it's an elephant. And I didn't want to invite the comparison.

Michael: I want the guy with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get a hold of him?
George Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.

Michael: He's lying to me. Can you believe that? Where the hell is this family's morality?
(A puff of smoke suddenly comes out of Gob's mouth)
Gob: I don't know.
Michael: What?
Gob: It's cold out here.

Buster: (about Lucille 2) And her nausea's gotten really bad, too. It's really been difficult on us. It's definitely taking its toll.
Michael: Well, you know, you're free to go, pal. It's not like you made a commitment to this woman.
Buster: Well, I didn't make a commitment ... I did refer to it as our nausea. But you know, that's when we were going at it really hot and heavy.
Michael: Well, now it's my nausea.

Michael: Tell you what. I'm going to give you the cash, but in return, I get to ask you for a favor sometime.
Gob: My gut is telling me no. But my gut is also very hungry.

Michael watched as the brother he swore to stop helping enjoyed the girlfriend he helped him reunite with. And so, he returned to work, accepting the fact that he was a good guy. But not as good as everyone thought.

Narrator

Michael: Since when are you against leather?
Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.
Lindsay: Well, I'm not against the insides. I mean, people need meat to survive.
Michael: You are aware they don't remove it surgically, right?

Michael: Mom, I'm looking for Gob. There's some people after him, and I don't know whether it's gambling or what, but they want to break his legs.
Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter!

I can't believe the legs would screw him like this!

Marta

Lucille: You're the only one who chose a spouse I liked and she had to die.
Michael: I know, that's rough for you.

Michael: Call me what you want ...
Lindsay: An impotent man-boy.

Lucille: (about Lucille 2) She changed him as a baby!
Michael: Ok, that's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Buster: That's why she didn't look surprised.

Displaying quotes 289 - 300 of 574 in total

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.

Lucille

(to a waiter) Take it back. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Lucille
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