Now let's go upstairs and get back to work, for tonight, we dine in Hell!

Veronica

Ted: So the company backed down on the new hours?
Veronica: Mm-hmm.
Ted: I/we did it, because I/we stood up for what was right. I/we am proud of me/us.
Veronica: I/me, too, Ted. Together, we're like Gandhi. I'm skinny, and you're tan.

Perry: But Jenkins was still a great man, right? I mean, you were with him when he helped that killer whale find its way home.
Phil: I had not heard that one. Was that an embellishment of the time I helped that large woman with the hole in the top of her head find her way back to her apartment?
Lem: Actually, I stole that story from Free Willy.
Phil: Oh.

Lem, I talked to the chef. It turns out that broasting is a combination of, and I quoting, "roasting and get the hell out of my kitchen." He wouldn't tell me the proportions.

Phil

Ted: I need to sabotage the sleep system and make sure it's not finished in time for Relaxacon.
Linda: Cool. That's not sex, but it beats getting knocked to the floor so hard you want to go back to Wisconsin and get your master's in Cheese Sciences.
Ted: Yes, it does.

Lem: It's Broasting Day in the cafeteria. It'll give us another chance to figure out what broasting is.
Phil: Well, I do want to get to the bottom of that. Okay, we'll have lunch. I just hope "broasting" is not a typo, like that butter crotch pudding.

If you want to get the company off this, you have to show them that this new pace will cost them money. Because the company loves its money. If they could, they'd go to strip clubs and throw naked women at money.

Veronica

Lem: Gordon Jenkins was a good man. But he was also a complex man. For example, he liked coffee, but he did not like having coffee thrown at him. In fact, Jenkins hated being burned by any hot liquid. In that way, he was like many of us, sensitive to heat. What a character. Goodbye, Jenkins. I hope you're throwing coffee at God right now.
Veronica: Nice work, Lem. Goosebumps.
Lem: Really?
Veronica: Sure. Why not?

I love sugar cookies. When I was a kid, my mom used to make 'em. But instead of sugar, she'd use brandy. And instead of milk, she dipped them in brandy.

Phil

Sorry, Ted. The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die.

Veronica

Veronica: I heard about Jenkins' death. The company feels terrible about it.
Ted: People are working too hard, Veronica. We need to slow down.
Veronica: Legal's position's is, we don't know if hard work killed Jenkins. Legal thinks he may have had high cholesterol. They're also floating the idea that his being dead may have been a pre-existing condition, and that he may not have been alive when we hired him. Apparently he was pretty quiet in his job interview.

Ted: Morale does seem pretty low.
Linda: It's like that time they paid our holiday bonuses in frozen food.
Ted: Potpie Christmas. It did not help that they made them with real reindeer.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

Better Off Ted Season 2 Episode 6 Quotes

Ted: Morale does seem pretty low.
Linda: It's like that time they paid our holiday bonuses in frozen food.
Ted: Potpie Christmas. It did not help that they made them with real reindeer.

Lem: We did it, Ted. We now have a working prototype for the Veridian Sleep System.
Phil: All the hard work, late nights and no rest have paid off. We've cured sleeplessness and demonstrated irony.

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