Better Off Ted

Better Off Ted "You Are the Boss of Me" Quotes

Linda: There's a single dads club that meets on the fifth floor every week. Maybe you should check it out.
Ted: Eh, I guess I could go beat up some single dads
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: I'm a little preoccupied. I almost killed a man in the basement.
Linda: Huh. Last week a story like that would've surprised me. So who'd you almost kill? Was it Joe? I hate that guy. He took half my cubicle
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: Linda, I feel like you've been wanting to get our relationship back to the way it was.
Linda: What gave you that idea--the fact that you shrunk my cubicle into a hobbit hole?
Veronica: Now let's not get into "who shrunk whose office" or "who canceled whose dental plan
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: And then I accused Omar Sharif of being a terrorist so he'd get kicked off a plane and I could take his first-class seat
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: I once slept with my boyfriend's therapist to find out if he was cheating with me. He wasn
 • Rating: Unrated

Gil: Ted, in order to advance to Squire, there is but one knave standing in your way.
Phil: I propose a mutual surrender.
Gil: Valiant try, you giant ball of wuss
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: I'll take you to breakfast--somewhere where the meals don't end with the word "slam."
Linda: I don't know. I've got a lot of work to do on the Doppler Project.
Veronica: You're with the boss. Relax. Besides, I can give the Doppler Project to Joe.
Linda: Really? Because I do hate the Doppler Project.
Veronica: And I hate Joe. So everybody wins
 • Rating: Unrated

Linda: I don't know why I drink. I always either get laid or fired.
Lem: I have to start drinking. I like those odds
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Medieval Fight Night two nights in a row? Man, my codpiece just got tighter
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: My grandfather... I never liked him. He smelled of onions and once cheated on my grandmother with Eleanor Roosevelt, who hated men but loved onions
 • Rating: Unrated

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