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Bones

If they lied about the murder of a president, they can lie about anything.

Cam

Brennan: Because you have forbidden us from taking samples in order to estimate the osteoconductivity of the oblique taphonomic remodeling to the mid saggital plane, enchaplametric transaction, or translation, if you will of the intramatrix can be deduced by correlating the force displacement values with the osteogenic and geogenic hydrogel nanocomposite we placed inside the surrogate.
Agent White: Which is the cantaloupe?
Brennan: You understand me perfectly.

Booth: Hey, guys! Guys, listen, I'm going to need some science gibber-gabber to distract these guys!
Brennan: Oh, do you know who's really good at gibber-gabber?
Booth: Who?
Brennan: Me!
Booth: Perfect! My lucky day.

Brennan: Bone graft. It looks like a repair to a screw hole.
Cam: Huh. I count three metal plates.
Brennan: Indicating multiple corrective surgeries.
Cam: Which could help us positively identify these remains.
Brennan: Mr. White told us to regard identification as a zero priority.
Cam: I'm not as good as you are at doing as I'm told.
Brennan: Thank you!

Cam: Strange question, I know, but I've gotta ask. [pulls EPT test from behind her back] Are you, by any chance, pregnant?
Brennan: No, I haven't had sexual intercourse in quite some time.
Cam: Do you want to know why I'm asking?
Brennan: You're holding a home pregnancy test. I assume it's positive and you're worried about losing the most important person in this lab.
Cam: No. Very modest. I'm asking because Michelle was here earlier this afternoon and the only other two people who you use that bathroom, beside me, are you and Angela.
Brennan: Well, Angela is currently sexually active.
Cam: Very true.
Brennan: With Wendell!
Cam: Very, very active!
Brennan: And even if they use condoms, Wendell is young! His sperm is likely to be extremely motile.
Cam: You are so cheering me up right now.

I'm not gonna take the heat when people scream I sent an alien off to Washington for secret testing! (chuckles then turns serious) I've been through that before.

Sheriff Bonds

Booth: Come on Bones, you don't believe that there are other real life forms out there?
Bones: Well the ... probability is very high, but any alien visiting this planet would have sufficient intelligence not to die in the middle of the desert.

Booth: Hey, FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth. This here is Dr. Temperance Brennan from the Jeffersonian.
Sheriff Bonds: Sheriff Jerry Bonds. But you probably got that from my shiny badge, my imposing gun, and my big hat.
Booth: Yeah, right.

Blaine Miller: Oh. Oh you're here about that body they found up at Vinton's place.
Brennan: We never mentioned a body, Mr. Miller.
Blaine Miller: Nothing travels faster than the speed of light than gossip in a small town.

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