Favorite Bored to Death Quotes
Why are you always picking on me? I don't procrastinate. I just like to do things later.
George
(to Jonathan) I hope your heart is broken many times because it means you would have loved many times.
Dimitri
The meat packing district really has become Los Angeles.
Jonathan
It's a good thing to stay in the dark about things - it keeps life interesting.
George
This isn't a friend of ours that makes custom made voodoo dolls. This is a deranged stalker.
Jonathan
I'm fiscally responsible, but sexually out of control
Jonathan
(to Jonathan) Let's go have a drink and get drunk. Sixteen gin and tonics.
Ray
(to Jonathan) For what its worth, I read your first book - I'm not Jewish, but I liked it.
Cop friend
I never should have started dating a woman with kids. I have to be the only child in a woman's life.
Ray
Ray: You mind if I smoke pot in here?
George: Can I have some?
Leah: I'm proud of you for going to therapy. (kisses Ray who doesn't kiss back)
Ray: I'm sorry, I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?!
Ray: When I was a little kid, I used to like to push my penis in to make it look like it disappeared. Today, it happened all by itself.
Leah: Her name's Allison. She's a radical vegan.
Lisa: I know a lot of radical vegans. She must be really lonely.
