Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime

Heather: Hey do you want to try it from behind?
Charlie: Absolutely, that's my favorite.
Heather: Me Too.
Charlie: Right? Because it gets your spot right?
Heather: Right, that yes and because I can multitask. The emails just pile up if you don't get to them right away.

Becca: Yeah I don't laugh as easily as I used to.
Hank: Don't I know it.
Becca: Guess things aren't as funny as they used to be.

Marci: You remind me of Charlie physically. You like his fucking doppelganger Stu you're all bald and pear shaped and shit, it's really kind of creeping me out.
Stu: Marci that all may be true but I'm also rich as fuck and hung like a moose.

You know what's weird? I am horny as fuck. No seriously, I beat off twice this morning. Ugh, OK fine, I made love to myself. Christ on a stick Karen what is it about talking about masturbation that freaks you our so much? You know you like to flick that bean of yours!


You write a good script and they will come...all over your face baby!


I was just putting my thoughts in order when I was rudely interrupted by the ill affects of self-medicating.


Honey, I didn't mean to force moisture from your face.

Displaying all 7 quotes