Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Sasha: How do I look?
Hank: Good enough to shit on.

Hank: Probably not the best idea for me to get involved with the actress who is going to play the girl that I raped, allegedly.
Sasha: I get what you're saying, but that doesn't mean I don't want one or more of your fingers in my vagina right now.

Your client is being very naughty. I think you should send him to my room without any supper.

Sasha

Eddie: You got me?
Hank: No, you represent everything I hate, but I do find you highly entertaining, continue please.

I'm holding out for Keitel. When in doubt call, in the Bad Lieutenant. Plus the guy loves to show his dong. Gotta love that in a thespian.

Hank

Hank: It doesn't have to be this hard Becca
Becca: Shouldn't it be hard? I mean isn't that pretty much what happens after the final straw. It's impossible to make things go back to the way they were.

Hank: Comparing me to the world's most infamous fan of underage girls is not the way to start a pep talk Charlie.
Charlie: Are you forgetting about R Kelly? Jerry Lee Lewis, that's another. Shit he married one. I think she was his cousin. That's kind of hot.
Hank: If you say so.

I'm too old to sustain life. Too bitter too. Sperm would enter my pretty little vajuju and my cold black heart would kill that shit dead son.

Marci

Abby: I'm obviously far too old for you.
Hank: No see that's where you're wrong, I like me a mature woman. Gross feet, stretch marks, nipple hair I did that shit, dig it all. Love that shit, not that you have any of that shit, stuff. I'm gonna go.

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