Californication

Californication "Suicide Solution" Quotes

Sasha: How do I look?
Hank: Good enough to s**t on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: Probably not the best idea for me to get involved with the actress who is going to play the girl that I raped, allegedly.
Sasha: I get what you're saying, but that doesn't mean I don't want one or more of your fingers in my vagina right now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sasha: Your client is being very naughty. I think you should send him to my room without any supper.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eddie: You got me?
Hank: No, you represent everything I hate, but I do find you highly entertaining, continue please.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: I'm holding out for Keitel. When in doubt call, in the Bad Lieutenant. Plus the guy loves to show his dong. Gotta love that in a thespian.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Hank: It doesn't have to be this hard Becca
Becca: Shouldn't it be hard? I mean isn't that pretty much what happens after the final straw. It's impossible to make things go back to the way they were.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank: Comparing me to the world's most infamous fan of underage girls is not the way to start a pep talk Charlie.
Charlie: Are you forgetting about R Kelly? Jerry Lee Lewis, that's another. Shit he married one. I think she was his cousin. That's kind of hot.
Hank: If you say so.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marci: I'm too old to sustain life. Too bitter too. Sperm would enter my pretty little vajuju and my cold black heart would kill that s**t dead son.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Abby: I'm obviously far too old for you.
Hank: No see that's where you're wrong, I like me a mature woman. Gross feet, stretch marks, nipple hair I did that s**t, dig it all. Love that s**t, not that you have any of that s**t, stuff. I'm gonna go.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marci: F**k you, you f**king pedophile what's so gross about f**king me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "Suicide Solution?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!