Travis: We don't do the learning.
Wes: That's kind of an unwritten rule in our thing.

Wes: I see what you did there. You laid a little trap for me.
Travis: You keep lobbin' 'em up and I keep shootin' 'em home.

I'm worried about the dog and yelling at you is making me feel better!

Wes

So you get to be the fun one and I get to provide all the discipline.

Wes

Your whole life is a special circumstance.

Wes

You're a deeply damaged man.

Travis

I am a positive ion in the universe.

Sutton

You go through staplers almost as fast as you go through women.

Wes

I thought that if I really cared about it, it would really messy me up when I finally had to leave.

Travis

Not everyone wants to see their breath indoors.

Travis

Wes: You can take the joy out of anything.
Travis: Thank you.

Wes: You know you can report him for sexual harassment?
Travis: Thanks for your support.

Common Law Quotes

If he takes care of you the way he takes care of that car, then you're one lucky lady.

Mechanic [about Wes]

Travis: We hate people who don't help people when they ask for directions.
Wes: We also hate gun runners.