Popular Community Quotes
Hey Abed, real stories -- they don't have spoilers. You understand that TV and life are different, right?
Britta
Shirley: Pierce has always been on my watch list.
Troy: That dude is crazy. He told me girls have two pee holes
Jeff: Hey troy sneezes like a girl
Troy: How about I pound you like a boy... that didn't come out right
Abed: Jeff, I have to make some adjustments to my film, you'll play my father
Jeff: I don't want to be your father
Abed: Perfect, you already know the lines
9/11 was pretty much the 9/11 of the falafel market
Abed
Our first assignment is a documentary, they're like real movies but with ugly people
Abed
Abed's Dad: Dreams are for sleeping
Britta: You don't know that
Abed's Dad: It's clinically proven
Britta: Did you do all that to me on purpose? That's not a very nice way to treat your friends
Abed: Well, Britta, it isn't called friend business, it's called show business [lights up a cigarette and leaves the room]
Britta: He's smoking!
Jeff: Honey, let him leave the nest
Britta: Aren't you supposed to have an Olympic gold medal in gibber jabber
Jeff: Yeah, but I'm a sprinter. I'm at my best during high speed bursts of wit.
Britta: Hey Vaugn, what's up?
Vaughn: No worries
Jeff: Interesting, cause I might be worried if I was playing hacky sack a decade too late
Britta [about Vaughn]: The problem right now is that he's calling me "baby." He's trying to hold my hands. It's... it's getting a little relationshipy and... he gave me something.
Jeff: Herpes?
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
Jeff
