Popular Community Quotes
I failed Annie. I'm no more of a song writer than you or Billy Joel
Pierce
You listen up, Pierce! I'm gonna tell you what my mother told me when I wanted to quit cheerleading. 'You're not very pretty, you have no boobs, and you can't do a basket toss to save your life.' But you made a commitment. So pick up your pompoms, Pierce, stuff your bra, and get ready for the team bus to forget you at a Taco Bell, because life is tough. But we soldier on, and that's just the way it goes
Annie
Dean Pelton: Well look at this group having some of meeting and being so diverse. There is just, boy! There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?
Pierce: Well, we are missing a pipsqueak, but we don't want one, so beat it!
Britta: Ah, Pierce, that's the dean
Britta: I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.
Jeff: Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman" like... doing it with me.
Britta: Nothing says "I'm a pig" like you
Jeff: This decision has to be yours, T-Bone. And this decision has to be yes.
Troy: How did you know my nickname was T-Bone?
Jeff: Because you're a football player. And your name begins with "T."
Jeff: You're just as selfish as I am. You're just not as good at it yet.
Annie: You're right. I could never be as good as you. Probably because I actually care.
Jeff: Profound, but technically meaningless
I don't know about you, but I know I ended up here because things weren't that great out there. You should try accepting where you're at, man. Take a pottery class or something
Troy [to Jeff]
Jeff: I'm saying you're a football player, its in your blood
Troy: That's racists
Jeff: Your soul?
Troy: That's racist
Jeff: Your eyes?
Troy: That's gay
Jeff: That's homophoebic
Troy: That's black
Jeff: That's racist!
Troy: Damn
Abed [about Jeff and Britta]: Will they or won't they, sexual tension
Jeff: Abed, it make the group uncomfortable when you talk about the group like we're characters in a show you're watching
Abed: That's sort of my gimmick, but we did lean on that pretty hard last week. I can lay low for an episode
Annie: I've been following you, how did you get Troy to play football?
Jeff: I'm not having a conversation with someone that emerged from a bush
Annie: Because I'm right?
Jeff: No, because I'm not in a commercial for a breakfast cereal
Shirley: I need to go to the bathroom first, Britta?
Britta: No, I don't have to go
Annie: I'll go with you
Britta: What, she's offended?
Jeff: Girls go in groups, did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the nineties?
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
Jeff
