Popular Community Quotes
While you're under so deep, you'll find yourself attracted to... slightly older men. Perhaps some barrel-chested stud with just enough tummy to love. You want to buy him dinner then go back to his hot tub. Perhaps you'll invite one of your friends to join us for a three-way. Maybe someone with low self-esteem and slightly larger breasts.
Pierce [during Britta's hypnosis]
Jeffrey, your preparation was impeccable. You remind me of a young me, with slightly worse hair.
Professor Whitman
Dean: I'm here to kick off the first day of a new tradition at our school called Green Week
Pierce: What? First we get a month of black history, now we're blowing seven days on the Irish.
Dean [about the Environdale Posters]: We need to redo these.
Asst: We printed five thousand.
Dean: Well print five thousand more. I'm trying to save a planet here!
In a way all of you are right. Okay, what was I tuning out?
Jeff
What makes you think I can make Senor Chang do anything if I can't convince you guys not to make me do it?
Jeff
Senor Chang: Pickled bull testicle?
Jeff: Are you offering or collecting?
Annie: Are you breaking up with the group?
Jeff: If that's what you want. [walks away]
Pierce: I've been divorced seven times. Turns off your cell phones and bury all your money in the backyard.
Annie [to Jeff]: You have to get Chang to call off some of this homework. You're the one with the silver tongue.
Pierce: Yeah, go tongue Chang.
Chang [about ex-wife]: You make no mistake about this, Winger. I pleasured that woman greatly.
Jeff: Yeah. You look like you would have to. I'm not surprised you said that.
Hey, when you go out with me, it gets crazy. That's the Winger guarantee.
Jeff
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
Jeff
