Popular Community Quotes
Abed: Jeff, did I say anything in my sleep last night about farm animals or Brian Williams?
Jeff: ...I don't think so.
Abed: Cool. Cool, cool, cool. [edit]
The next person that offers me pity will be mentioned by name in my suicide note
Jeff
Jeff: Every piece of that condo is a piece of my life
Britta: Is that a bidet?
Jeff: That part is for resale value and Saturday afternoons
Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes
Draw the tape worm out of him with the bowl of milk that is your sexuality
Abed [to Britta about Jeff]
Pierce [to Britta]: Have you thought about hypnotherapy? I know a great hypno therapist
Jeff [to Britta]: Ten to one says it's him
Dean: What's it gonna take? A plum park space, free meals, a night of companionship, if you know what I mean?
Jeff: I'll do it for the parking space and if you promise not to tell mean what you mean
Jeffrey, as debate coach, I am offering you an opportunity to spend the night drinking from the cup of life rather than romancing your nether regions in front of the E! channel
Professor Whitman
Greendale needs a win. The best compliment our sports program gets is that our basketball team is really gay.
Dean Pelton
Professor Whitman: A little trick for achieving the proper competitive mindset: I always envision my opponent having aggressive sex with my mother
Abed: That's my newspaper.
Shirley: What do you need the paper for? You knew what was going to happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic 8-ball.
The state bar has suspended my license. They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.
Jeff
