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Sorry Abed, I don't feel comfortable with you taking a grand tour of my nethers.


Britta: I read an article that said some women can actually achieve or--
Shirley: No no, thank you for the conversation. I know what you're talking about and even if it were true that's not something a woman does on her child's head.

Britta: Women have a connection to their bodies you could never understand
Jeff: You have a booger.
Britta: I know. It's a part of me.

Troy: It's like a million bucks in dog dollars.
Abed: Word.

Shirley, pretend I'm saying this in a soothing, reassuring, non-robotic voice. We're not gonna make it to the hospital.


Abed: Don't tell any doctors I said this, but at this point in the situation the bus pretty much drives itself.
Shirley: Who is the bus in this scenario?

An epidural is a proper Christian woman's only chance to get wrecked.


I don't want my child's first memory to be Starburns.


Shirley: Can somebody please all Andre? It's Sugarboots in my phone.
Troy: That hurts Shirley.

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