Just remember. You can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder.

Bobby

Look at my rings my rings my rings.

Ellie

Heads up tiny eyes. Once you go Andy all the rest is blandy.

Ellie

Here, I'm gonna be a quiet bad ass. Like Harry Potter.

Trav

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.

Laurie

Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?

I'm gonna otter the hell out of you.

Jules

I like queen bitch, it makes me sound like leader of the gays.

Dr. Evans

Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!

Please I don't miss people I dismiss them.

Laurie

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.