Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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I am your grandfather, my back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me.


Jules: You know, I was trying to find the perfect setting and now I just don't know what to do. I know I have to tell them, or, a different approach, we hop in a car, drive west, and never look back.
Ellie: Don't joke! I packed my Thelma and Louise bag six years ago, so say the word I'll go grab it.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.


When she and I kiss, we kiss on the lips.


That's true. I earned my spot, and you slutted your way in.


Bobby's a very nurturing bitch.


I call that rippin' on D-bags with Ellie.


Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh I'll take one. I just want to see what date it was so I know not to come.


Talking like a douche is not helping your case.


Call your not stupid wife.


The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 36 in total

Cougar Town Season 5 Quotes

Pale and tan swirl.


Even I’m uncomfortable, and I once had sex in a cemetery. I had "Rita Rogers Loving Wife and Mother" printed on my back for two weeks.