Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes
Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual change a tire?
Larry
This is not a meeting about the show, this is a meeting about a meeting!
Jason Alexander
I don't tell my wife anything. I don't confide in her. I don't trust anybody. I just treat her like an acquaintance
Larry
Dana: I notice this is a GT and the brochure says there's a model called the GTS. Now what is the difference between the GT and the GTS?
Larry: Okay, the GTS is "guaranteed tremendous safety."
Dana: So, without the "S," it's just "guaranteed tremendous?"
Cheryl: Oh my god, is that the ocean?
Larry: Eh, you get used to that in two days
Larry: So what, I'm a shmuck for being in a masturbation contest?
Jason Alexander: It's not an incredibly noble experiment was it?
Can you shoot the whales from this balcony? Because sometimes I like to have blubber for breakfast
Larry
Lucy: Here's to The Vagina Monologues.
Jeff: Hey, here's to the vagina
Larry: My name is Todd, and I'm an incest survivor.
Group: Hello.
Larry: I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath, I dont even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles I think, neither here nor there.
Wendy: I want to make one thing very clear. You cannot mention one word of what you know.
Larry: Don't worry. I would never betray you.
Wendy: Thank you.
Larry: You're welcome.
[scene switches to Cheryl and him...]
Larry: She had sex with her grandfather! Then she had sex with her uncles..
You know I've never actually seen the vagina with my glasses on. I don't really have any idea of what it looks like. It's all a hazy mystery to me
Larry
Cheryl: Why am I always the one who initiates sex?
Larry: I'm available for sex all the time, basically, so anytime you want to have it, you can have it.
Cheryl: Wow.
Larry: But anytime I want to have it, I can't--just assume that I want it all the time, so whenever you want it, just tap me on the shoulder
