Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes
Larry: I can't wait to call my parents. They are gonna be so proud of me! When I tell my father I figured out out that navigation system, he's gonna flip his wig! And he's got one too!
Cheryl: Can we turn on the radio?
Larry: Oh, he's gonna be very proud of Larry figuring out the navigation system!
Cheryl: Please.
Larry: "Daddy, I'm not so stupid!"
Larry: Why don't we just call your doctor?
Cheryl: You can't call my doctor on the weekends, unless it's a life threatening emergency.
Larry: What?
Cheryl: Yeah, if you call his machine, it'll tell you you can't page him.
Larry: You called up and that's what it said?
Cheryl: Yeah.
Larry: That is obscene, you know that? [imitating the doctor] "Can't disturb the doctor on the weekend! Don't call the Dr. Zeppler on the weekend unless it's life-threatening!"
Cheryl: Okay, okay.
Larry: [imitates the doctor's wife] "Norman, is someone calling? Who's calling? We're in the middle of dinner, Norman!"
Cheryl: Larry..
Larry: "This better be life-threatening or you're not gonna leave this house!"
Cheryl: Larry, please. I'm begging you.
Larry: "Norman! Unless they were burned in a fire I don't want you getting up from your chair. Do you understand, Norman?"
I tend to say stupid things to black people sometimes
Larry
You sounded like, like, christ, Pat Buchanan's gym partner
Richard [about Larry's tasteless joke]
Richard: He's my dermatologist.
Larry: Really?
Richard: For 15 years now.
Larry: Even with the whole affirmative-action thing?
[My mom] said, "Larry felt my bosom, and held it there for several seconds"
Jeff
Larry: Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick!
Jeff: It's what she thinks. What can I say? Sweet dreams.
Larry: "Sweet dreams". I'll dream about fucking your mother. "Sweet dreams".
Craig: How long were you and Cheryl dating before you got married?
Larry: Not that long, really. We were friends for a while, and after we had intercourse we got married very quickly
Nobody likes to fly. I don't even like to drive. And I don't like walking
Larry
Jeff: Do you know what 'Indian giving' is?
Larry: Yes, I know what it's called. It's a very racist term, but I'm okay with it
Larry: I need a letter of apology from your friend.
Jeff: Retraction, retraction!
Larry: Retraction? What are they going to say? "We're sorry we called her a cunt, we meant 'aunt.'"
Jeff: How did she die?
Larry: Killed herself.
Jeff: No, she didn't!
Larry: Killed herself!
Jeff: Why?
Larry: Why? Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note. That is so rude, isn't that?
Jeff: That is really rude
