TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

What is this compulsion to have people over your house and serve them food and talk to them? What a strange thing

Larry

Cheryl: I guess Julia will have to come back over. You'll just have to arrange another meeting.
Larry: Are you out of your mind now?

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac

Jeff

Larry: And who knows, you know what? Maybe I'll be able to need a lawyer someday.
Cheryl: Anything could happen.
Larry: A lot of people sue me

Phyliss: I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built!
Larry: With his own hands, and some hammers, he actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter

Larry [on Jerry Seinfeld]: He's a eunuch. Yes, his testicles were cut of when he was about 13 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy.
Phyliss: Julia, is that true? Does he really have no testicles?
Julia: You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fuckin' idea

Larry: What's the guy, four years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! What kind of person is that?!
Cheryl: He's a fan.
Larry: What does he expect to gain from such meeting? What does he think, he's gonna go over there, she's gonna be so charmed by him that all of a sudden they'll start becoming friends? They'll talk on the phone and go out to dinner together, go to the movies? What, start e-mailing each others' summer vacations? Is he out of his fucking mind!?

Why are you listening to me? I don't know what I'm talking about

Larry

Male Parking Attendant: "The bald guy with the glasses." That's you?
Larry: Unfortunately, that's me

Doctor: What's this?
Larry: A splint. My wife made it.
Doctor: A plastic knife? Were you at a picnic when you injured yourself?

Richard: How can you not help a blind man?
Larry: How can you say "blind man" in front of a blind man?

[Women] can't just have sex with any man, they have to really love the man to get involved with their--with their penis, with their grotesque--with their grotesque penis

Larry
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 56 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 1 Quotes

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

Cheryl: Well, I think you should write a letter of apology to him.
Larry: "Dear prick, why are you such a prick?"

× Close Ad