Popular Desperate Housewives Quotes
Karl: The heart wants what it wants.
Susan: Well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!
Susan: Thanks for helping me break in. Do you think it's gonna be hard to replace that screen?
Mike: Well that depends. Nail it in yourself, you might wanna wear gloves. Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.
Susan: Okay. I know what just happened is funny, in theory, but I am nowhere near ready to laugh about it. So please, no jokes.
Bree: Hey, where've you been?
Mike: Um, Susan had a problem finding something to wear. Oh, was that the kinda thing you meant?
Susan: Pretty much
Susan: You know what? I don't need an apology! I don't need anything from you!
Karl: You're humiliating yourself!
Susan: No, you're the one who's been humiliated, Karl. Why don't you see that? You walked out on your family! People think you're scum, not me! So worry about yourself! I'm okay with me! I can walk down the street and hold my head high!
After I died, I began to surrender the parts of myself that were no longer necessary. My desires, beliefs, ambitions, doubts, every trace of my humanity was discarded. I discovered when moving through eternity, it helps to travel lightly. In fact, I held onto only one thing. My memory. It's astonishing to look back on the world I left behind. I remember it all, every single detail. Like my friend, Bree Van De Kamp, I remember the easy confidence of her smile, the gentle elegance of her hands, the refined warmth of her voice, but what I remember most about Bree, is the look of fear in her eyes Bree had started to realize her world was unraveling, and for a woman who despised loose ends, that was unacceptable
Mary Alice
Susan: You can afford a cabin but you can't scrape up child support?
Karl: The check's in the mail.
Susan: Uh...[checks mailbox] No, it's not
Zach: Maybe when you die, I won't put in an obituary.
Paul: That will be your choice to make. Assuming you outlive me
Rex: So these tennis lessons we're taking. How are we doing?
Bree: My back hand is improving immensely, but you're still having problems with your serve.
Rex: Of course
And some people kiss their friends, it's like a high-five on the lips!
Gabrielle [to Ashley, about kissing]
When I was alive, I maintained many different identities. Lover, wife, and ultimately, victim. Yes, labels are important to the living. They dictate how people see themselves, like my friend Lynette. She used to see herself as a career woman, and a hugely successful one at that. She was known for her power lunches, her eye-catching presentations and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition. But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label, the incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother. But, unfortunately for Lynette, this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised
Mary Alice
Gabrielle: Why are your friends staring at me? Did you tell them about us?
John: No. They're staring 'cuz they think you're hot.
Gabrielle: Oh, okay
Julie [about Mike]: I still don't understand why you don't just ask him out on an 'official date' date.
Susan: I'm trying a new strategy. I'm playing hard to get.
Julie: How long do you think you can keep that up?
Susan: Oh, maybe until noon. Then I'm going to have to run over there and beg him to love me
You're the one with the problem, all right. You're the one who's acting she's running for mayor of Stepford.
Andrew
