Desperate Housewives "I Know Things Now" Quotes
Lynette: Ed can't fire you unless he has just cause, so until this blows over you have to be a model employee: show up on time, no more three martini lunches and above all, have ready all your presentations.
Tom: I can't believe I've been victimized like this.
Lynette: Honey, in all fairness...those are all things you should be doing anyway..
Tom: ...Fine!
• Rating: Unrated
Susan: You are about to unleash a nuclear explosion. Lives are going to be ruined.
Detective: I'll tell you what, I'll hold off until Monday to report to Miss Britt. I'll give you some time to scrape together some cash.
Susan: What if I can't?
Detective: Boooom!!
• Rating: Unrated
Gabrielle: (talking about Xiao-Mei) Bree, you heard what she said? I can't let this poor kid going back to China and become someone's slave!
• Rating: Unrated
Bree: Andrew, I'm having Peter over for dinner and I was wondering if you would like to invite Justin?
Andrew: Yeah, thanks. I'll call him tonight.
Danielle: Since you to are having your boyfriends over, can I invite Matthew?
Bree: Out of the question!
Danielle: So let me get this straight. You can date a lech and he can bring over his gay lover but God forbid I date a hot black guy...
• Rating: Unrated
Mary Alice: The most successful private investigator in Fairview was a man named Oliver Weston. Try though he might, Oliver couldn't remember the exact moment he stopped believing in love. Was it the night he caught an executive cheating with his secretary? Or was it the day he saw a housewife cheating with her delivery boy? Or was it the time he caught the girl next door cheating with the couple across the street? Whenever the moment, Oliver Weston was now officially a cynic who only believed in betrayal and suspicion. Luckily for Oliver, that's what paid his bills.
• Rating: Unrated
Mary Alice: Susan knew she couldn't afford to keep the P.I. from revealing her affair with Karl and since Edie would learn the truth anyway, Susan felt it would be better if it came from her. Which is how she came to write a letter begging Edie for forgiveness. Her words were so sincere and heartfelt, from the moment she mailed it, Susan knew she was a dead woman.
• Rating: Unrated
Susan: You're always worried about Julie and me and you beat up my new boyfriend. And now you're protecting me from Edie. Do you know what all that means?
Mike: That you're high maintenance?
• Rating: Unrated
Bree: Honey, you've got to eat something.
Gabrielle: Don't have an appetite. In fact, this is all going to go to waste. You guys should take something.
Lynette: No, no, you should keep it.
Edie: I'll take a couple. (All the ladies stare at her) What? Karl dumped me, so I'm alone. Food fills the void.
• Rating: Unrated
Carlos: I still can't believe it. I mean, why would Xiao-Mei just offer herself up to me like that?
Gabrielle: Well, honey, she's a virgin. Who knows why virgins do anything?
Carlos: She's a virgin? Are you serious?
Gabrielle: Yeah. I wouldn't just slam her for no reason.
• Rating: Unrated
Susan: Oh! Darn it. Guess we'll have to take a rain check, huh?
Gus: I can come back on Tuesday.
Susan: Tu-Tuesday? No, no, Tuesday's not good, 'cause Tuesday's the day I, um, become a lesbian.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 18
