Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives "Remember (1)" Quotes

Julie: (upon seeing the RV trailer she is going to live in) Why are you doing this to me? I get good grades. I don't do drugs. I've never come home pregnant...
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Xiao-Mei, how did you rip your panties?
Xiao-Mei: I fall down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bree: You don't understand. I'm not crazy . . . I just have a few issues.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan (to Carl): Oh no, no, no. You turn my house around!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree (to Mary Alice and Susan): This is my son, the criminal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary-Alice: I met Susan Mayer the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. She seemed so delightfully confident, I couldn't help but feel intimidated. That feeling... (shot of Susan falling down into the truck and locking herself up)... quickly passed.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Susan has Julie blindfolded)
Julie: You're not going to walk me into a wall, are you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: Can I get a gardner who isn't trying to sleep with somebody in my house?
Gabrielle: You pay six bucks an hour. It's all about the perks, honey.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rex: We're not weird, we just seem like we are.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: We all met Lynette Scavo the day she moved on to Wisteria Lane. We quickly decided she would be our friend. Mostly because we were afraid to have her as an enemy.
(Tom and Lynette are arguing loudly.)
Lynette: This is perfect because we need some impartial judgement. Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you and out of the goodness of your heart you agreed to a baby. Even though it might derail your career, you agreed to a baby. A baby, singular! Then, then you go in for an ultrasound and you hear two heartbeats, then and only then does your husband tell you that twins run in his family. So I ask you: do I not deserve to punish this man severely?
Susan: Well, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother.
Lynette: What are you?! A scientist?!
 • Rating: Unrated

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