We met Gabrielle Solis the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. We were all excited to get a glimpse of a successful New York model.

Mary Alice

Bree: Um, we, uh, just came over to introduce ourselves, but we can, um, do that at another time.
Tom: No, wait. Please stay. It's okay. We're okay. We're okay, right? Honey, we don't wanna freak out the new neighbors.
Lynette: I'm sorry that you saw my panic attack. I won't let it happen again, especially since this is my last pregnancy.
Tom: Right. You're the boss. I'm just your love slave.
Susan/Mary Alice: Aw.
Lynette: Well, don't encourage him.
Tom: Honey, clearly, our new neighbors see that you have been gifted with a phenomenal husband.

Susan: What's the catch?
Karl: There's no catch. It's yours, Susie. Yours and Julie's. No strings attached.
Susan: I can't accept this. I just I gotta get out of this mess on my own.
Karl: This is not charity. I owe you... for everything I've done over the years, for all the heartache I've inflicted on you. Consider it payback.
Julie: Mom! There's a pool and a jacuzzi!
Karl: At least no one can drive off with it while you're sleeping, huh?

Bree: Hello?
Gabrielle: Hi, there.
Mary Alice: I'm Mary Alice. This is Susan, uh, Lynette and Bree.
Susan: Welcome to the neighborhood.
Gabrielle: Well, I am Gabrielle Solis.
Lynette: Would it be better if we came back at another time?
Gabrielle: Oh! No, no. I was... just changing out of my sweaty clothes. I didn't realize moving was such great cardio.

Zach: Look,I know it's an expensive car, but I need one, so can I get the money?
Noah: You're a lousy liar, kid. I read the papers. I know what happened to your father. My guess is he's in the market for a fancy lawyer to get him some rich man's justice.
Zach: Please.
Noah: Paul Young put Deirdre in a box. My daughter. Your mother, so we're clear, I don't write checks to monsters.
Zach: Why can't you just give me the money? You're dying. You don't need it. I do.

Lynette: Guys? Could you come here for a second? We need to have a serious talk. Okay, we have had a great... vacation, but tomorrow we're going home, except we're not going to our home. We're gonna go stay with Grandma.
Porter: Is dad gonna be there?
Lynette: No, dad is not gonna be there, but he--he is gonna come and see you guys all the time. We are still
gonna be a family. It's just... we won't be living in the same place anymore. So...is there any questions you wanna ask me?
Porter: Can we go swimming now?

Bree: You let go of me right now!
Dr. Barr: Hey, hey! What's going on here?
Bree: I am trying to leave, and these morons won't let me. Do you know that you can be arrested for kidnapping and for detaining someone?!
Dr. Barr: Why do you need to leave?
Bree: Because my daughter is in danger.
Dr. Barr: Something happened at cheerleading camp?
Bree: Okay, there's no camp. That was a fib on my part. I found out that she ran away with a boy and the boy is a murderer.

Bree, hi. It's Betty. I'm sorry to leave this on the machine, but the police have evidence that implicates Matthew in the murder of Melanie Foster. We have to find them, Bree. We have to find them and get Danielle back.

Betty

Carlos: Hey, what are you doing?
Gabrielle: Trying to have sex with you.
Carlos: Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
Gabrielle: You don't wanna have sex with me? You always wanna have sex with me. You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
Carlos: I'm a little preoccupied. A good man died today. Don't take it personally.

Carlos: Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet.
Gabrielle: Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants.
Carlos: Right. It's nice to meet you ladies.
Mary Alice: Let me guess newlyweds?
Gabrielle: Four months, and I've dressed like this for two of them. He's insatiable.

Zach: Well, you said all of this was gonna be mine, so when do I get it?!
Noah: Empire is a highfalutin word, but that's what I've built. Unfortunately, an empire can only be ruled by an iron fist and a strong gut. I wanted to give it to you, Zach,
but I'm starting to have my doubts about you.
Zach: So what? Are you cutting me off?
Noah: I don't have any use for weakness. Get out.
Noah: What, are you gonna kill me? Prove you're a tough guy? See? That's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, Kid. No balls.

Lynette: Hi.
Tom: Hi.
Mary Alice: Hi, uh, we just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
Bree: Um, but we could come back later.
Lynette: Yeah. No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why? Because we need some impartial judges.
Tom: Lynette...
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant-- begged you--and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career.
You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 59 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 23 Quotes

Melanie: And out of nowhere, he just attacked me.
Matthew: My brother's never been violent. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you.
Melanie: But he did.
Matthew: Let me just take you home.
Melanie: This has been pretty traumatic for me. I think that you should come over for the next few days so we can talk it out.
Matthew: We broke up, Mel. It is not my job to hold your hand.

Julie: (About the RV) So, is there anything you should prepare me for?
Susan: No, no. It's all good. Oh, but you should know that your bed doubles as the dining table, and the toilet's in the shower.

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